What people never talk about is the two weeks between ovulation and when your period is expected to come. When you are trying to conceive, this is pregnancy purgatory, but it is nearly hell. Especially when your period is five days late for no particular reason. Especially when the hormones your body produces during those two weeks produce many pregnancy-like symptoms, making you, despite your better judgment, hopeful. 

During this most recent episode of pregnancy purgatory, I composed this song in my head. To the tune of the Partridge Family’s “I Think I Love You” (as sung by David Cassidy) which my friend Benji inexplicably owned a 45 of when we were in high school. 

First listen to this:
“I Think I’m Pregnant”
to the tune of “I Think I Love You”
(As recorded by the Partridge Family)
We’ve been trying for just over a year now
to get pregnant with a brother or sister 
for our daughter who is three
I just may go insane during those terrible two weeks
between ovulation and when my period is due
Wondering if I’m pregnant
Oh if I’m pregnant I sure should not be drinking
I have to watch my diet and cut back on caffeine
if I am pregnant
This morning I woke up with this feeling
it may have well been nausea, but it may be something else
I also think everything around me smells bad, another sign of pregnancy, but then again maybe I’m nuts
I think I’m pregnant
I think I’m pregnant but it could be something else
like food poisoning or gas
Sure I’m tired all the time but really that could be
because I have a small child and a business of my own
Oh am I pregnant?
I don’t know if it’s really true
I don’t know how to deal with it
I got so much to think about
I think I’m pregnant but the tests so far are negative
although I read that only 16% percent are accurate 
on the first day of the missed period
So they really don’t mean anything…

And no, I’m not pregnant. For sure.