I’ve always known, growing up in the DC suburbs, that my hometown is not a normal hometown and that people here aren’t necessarily representative of the rest of the United States. But sometimes I get sucked into this culture that I find myself in and I don’t know how to come up for air. While I’m sure that many subcultures exist in DC and its environs (I’m not, for example, part of the Georgetown or Embassy Row socialite society) I feel like my little world is strongly defined by certain characteristics or expectations. For example, it seems to be expected…
that you eat organic, or mostly organic, and especially that you feed your kids organic food. Even, or perhaps especially, organic baby food. There’s even some expectation that you make your own baby food, but not by everyone. Along those lines it’s expected
that you eschew McDonald’s or other fast food. Ever since Super Size Me and Fast Food Nation, after which I avoided McDonald’s for probably a year, I feel a deep sense of shame and embarrassment when I hit the drive through. But evidently not enough shame or embarrassment to never go again. It’s expected that
you don’t let your kids watch much tv, or maybe any tv at all, or when they do watch tv it’s only educational. While we try to limit Zoe’s tv watching to shows she can understand and get something out of, I feel ridiculously sheepish when I talk to friends who are all excited about the Waldorf school and its tenets, which include a zero tolerance tv policy. I even went so far as to read an entire book about how television affects children of preschool age and younger, so I could understand what to do and maybe so I could justify letting Zoe watch Sesame Street. It’s expected that
you at least consider natural childbirth, or you take a class like hypnobirthing or the Bradley method, or you have a midwife or a doula, or give birth in a birthing center. I know a few moms who gave birth at home, and it was suggested to me that I give birth at home for my next child, because Zoe was born relatively quickly. Perhaps I am alone in this, but I love hospitals and trust doctors. Of course I want to have a voice in my medical care, but I also prefer to leave things that I was not trained in to medical experts who were. And I prefer to take medication when there is significant pain on the horizon. But perhaps that’s just me.
I could go on, but I won’t. All this is to say that I have a lot of respect for people who are more healthy and natural than I am. But I’m not really that crunchy granola. And while part of me wants to do better, I need to be realistic. A few years ago when my husband and I had organic vegetables delivered from a local farm twice a month, we never finished them all. We let stuff rot and felt guilty. When they deliver kale or beets or whatever else it was and you’re supposed to branch out and try new things and learn to cook kale or beets or whatever, I just don’t want to. Is that ok?
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July 29, 2009 at 11:06 pm
Tammy
For all the information and options out there, parenting sure hasn’t gotten any simpler. To the contrary.
The pressure is on not only from how multiplying “others” view you, but from the omnipresence of the “if it bleeds it leads” 24-hour media. This before all the innumerable research studies on nutrition and parenting.
We have fewer children, but we sure make up for it in guilt, sweat and tears. All the things we could be doing…That breast milk we fed our beloved babies already has non-natural, sometimes scary (dose of DDT, anyone?) elements in it. What do we really believe in? Where do we begin?
Start by recognizing and muting the judging conversations. Then give your own gut instincts a bit more credit. Trust the principle of moderation in all things.
And try the beets sometime. Just roast’em, drizzled with a bit of oil, s+p, tightly wrapped in foil, for about an hour (til tender) while you are using the oven for something else, maybe. I say all this in the most non-judging, loving way possible…
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July 30, 2009 at 7:20 pm
Bob
People have been having babies, raising them with love and skill for many thousands of years.
But not until modern medicine and the growth of modern sanitation, did large numbers of babies and parents avoid the tragedy of early illness and illness. Now that millionns of people are in the middle class, have enough to eat and drink and can get vaccinations, they can turn their attention to marginal things, like feeling superior because they eschew certain foods or skip tv. It’s an affectation possible only in a society dripping with independence. Glad you are not becoming a health and parenting snob. As the previous poster said, trust your gut. And have fun.
Love,
Your eccentric Dad
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August 3, 2009 at 11:58 pm
slowreader
Wellll . . . with age comes perspective (at least I have enough arrogance to think so). Yesterday it was all Frank Lloyd Wright squared-off architecture, “fresh-frozen” foods, “labor-saving” appliances, and keeping up with the Joneses as they moved us into a consumer nation.
Today the same pressures exist, but the directions differ. You’ve named some of them. The key to clarity here is that it is your life, your child, your love — and there are very few decisions in life that are irrevokably harmful.
It’s living. You can do it. And well, too.
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September 18, 2009 at 8:04 pm
Frances
I love this post! I feel all the time like I’m living in Type A personality land where my lifestyle choice are never up to par. I think it’s a big part of why I feel exhausted all the time!
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