Monthly Archive

When it comes down to it, I’m a very practical person. I could never take a philosophy class unless it was applied philosophy, or practical applications for philosophy. I certainly like discussing human behavior, but I want to know what to do about it. So perhaps I’m missing the point of philosophy. Oh well.

Tonight my book club discussed a series of lectures (given as TED talks) by psychologist Dan Ariely. One of Ariely’s investigations into behavioral economics involved looking at when people cheat or steal and why they think it’s ok sometimes. I find this fascinating. I am a serious rule follower. I get really irritated when people break the rules. And I know people who love to break rules, just because they can, so sometimes these people make me very uncomfortable.

But hearing Ariely’s examples of the seemingly harmless ways that people cheat or steal made me realize that I do these things too. I imagine everyone does something that’s not quite completely right or completely legal, but they figure it doesn’t hurt anyone so it’s ok. This morning I ran into Starbucks without putting money in the meter. Doesn’t matter, right. And I didn’t get a ticket. But it would have been reprehensible if I parked in a handicapped spot instead, right? Sometimes I check out a cd from the library and copy it onto my computer. Am I stealing money from the artist? Would I otherwise buy that cd? Maybe, but probably not. Usually I get things from the library that I’ve never heard of or don’t know well so I can try them out. I wouldn’t buy them if I didn’t know them. As often as not, after I check it out from the library I will then download more of that artist from iTunes, buy a cd as a gift, get tickets to a concert (where I will almost certainly buy a t-shirt). So ultimately my copying of the cd has resulted in much more revenue for the artist.

Ariely also discusses our irrational decision making, and how we don’t know ourselves or what we want as well as we think, and how we do things that don’t always make logical sense. I didn’t need him to tell me this. But I was interested in some of his experiments about how people’s choices changed when they are given additional options that seem slightly worse than the first option, so that influences their decision making. His results were fascinating, but I’m not sure what to do with them. Am I supposed to gain insight into my own behavior? Perhaps I can wait for the next time I am given a choice to make and try to analyze the options more carefully to make a more rational choice. What I really want to know is how to use this information in my work, in my parenting, and in my interactions with people. Some of my book club friends suggested doing that would be manipulating others and would be unethical. But is it always manipulating to give people the choices you want to offer? Or is manipulation necessarily bad?

So what I didn’t learn from Ariely, yet, but which makes me want to read his book (should I buy it or get it from the library? hmmm) is how to apply his studies into behavioral economics into my own life. But I did learn from his Irrationality Quotient quiz on his website that I am a mostly rational person (I scored 18) and he cleverly suggests that, as a result, I would be interested in particular chapters of his books. He’s probably right.

Recently I spent an hour talking with a business coach about improvements I want to make to Rosso Writing. I heard myself passionately explaining to her why I charge what I charge and how I think it’s a reasonable rate given the quality of my work and how I’m tired of defending it to people, or worrying that I’m going to have to defend it to people when I write proposals for new projects.

She asked me if I could describe what value I provide to my clients. I quickly rattled off a list. I know what I’m good at. I also know what my imperfections are, but no need to mention those to people, right? She suggested that I articulate the value I bring to my work and to my clients in a succinct way and mention it every chance I get. If people know what they’re getting is that good, they’ll be willing to pay for it, she theorized.

This makes sense to me. I hope that I can be better at standing up for myself when these situations arise. I am constantly being told by prospective clients that they have no money. I fully realize that I have made it my mission to work with nonprofits because I care about what they do and who they serve and how they make life better for people and communities. And most nonprofits, especially in this economy, operate on lean budgets. But that doesn’t mean they can’t plan to set aside money for something they think is important, such as good writing. When people ask me if I can work for a little less, I think “do you ask the doctor to charge you less? The plumber? The guy at the Apple store selling you a laptop?” No, you pay what they charge because you believe they’re giving you a worthwhile service or product and that’s how much it costs. Somehow, since I am an independent contractor, or a nice lady, people think that my rate isn’t real.

It’s not that I expect to get rich being a freelance writer working for nonprofits. But I do expect to make a living, and I expect to be fairly compensated for the service I provide. Now I just have to be as clear expressing that to everyone else as I am to myself.

Last night I took Zoe trick or treating in the neighborhood where I grew up. She was a fire chief and I accompanied her up and down my parents’ street and the next block, boring her with fascinating stories at every house. Next door: one of the daughters in this family used to babysit me and she wouldn’t help me clean up the mess she made. Two doors down were British brothers who wanted to wrestle when I babysat them but I didn’t know how. Next door to them was the guy who drove home from his job every day at lunch to intercept the mail because he was embezzling money and didn’t want his wife to find out. I didn’t mention that story to Zoe. At the next house lived two sisters who I played with often before I changed schools and they stopped speaking to me. I lost a tooth once playing in a tent set up in their basement. They had an aunt who was Miss Mississippi in the Miss America Pageant whose talent was twirling the baton and they tried to teach me as well. At the next house lived the family whose house I went after school the day my mom was at the hospital giving birth to my sister. Next door to them lived several British families in a row, all of whom I babysat for and one of whom I stayed with briefly when I studied abroad in England many years later. Across the street from my parents live a family where the mom is a nurse and I remember her once using instruments of torture, such as tweezers and antiseptic, to help me out when I wiped out on the sidewalk and embedded gravel in my knee. Further down the block were the kids who I used to watch monster movies with in their basement. And all that was before I was eight years old.

Halloween for Zoe was about the parade at her school, trick or treating at the most houses ever (did we go to 200 houses? she joked) and filling her bucket to the brim. She loved seeing all the other kids and decorations and it was the first time she was captivated by vampires and skeletons and witches without being the least bit scared. For me Halloween was about ghosts of years past, but definitely the friendly kind.